I find the concept of the iTampon (hehe, I bandwaggoned onto a shit joke on how iPad sounds like an absorbant feminine item, hehehe... lovely) a tad... pointless. And after the debate I realised it wasn't the product I hated, but its marketing.
I originally kept saying to said friends, "It's pointless, just get a netbook, or sommet" as these seem to have a decent number of programs installed for basic use. Yes, it may not have full net or full microsoft word, but for idle note taking or essay writing on a train it seems likely notepad is all you need.
"But listen here sucka" said my friend who will now be portrayed by Samuel L Jackson, "Fucking netbooks are shit, I'm too fucking awesome to be hanging with that mo'fo."
And he proclaimed the iPads skills: the many applications, protools, logic, movie editing, full programs for use. So yes, I agree, the iPad looks fucking awesome. These however are my qualms.
1) its enormous.
2) due to 1 it can easily be nicked (but I suppose so can laptops but they are more cumbersome than the humble iPad)
3) Pointless wankable accessories, such as speak to text, dogs you can stroke apps, keyboards, noise makers, games, magnetic penises, angry badger plug ins... so much stuff used solely to make Apple Fan Boys cum.
And yes, their reply was that I was merely saying such things because I wanked over Microsoft or that I can't see the full potential of this ebook.
It was then I cracked.
Just because your marketing it as an ebook doesnt fail to note it is a laptop. Yes, it hasnt a keyboard, but you can plug one is what Samuel L Jackson said he was doing. I said laptop covers it, he said it was lighter.
My other friend stood up for this claim. YES! It is lighter than my macbook. His macbook is a fucking anorexic; a midget with herpes in its right testicle could lift it. I dont know why right testicular herpes lowers strength but bugger it the metaphor stands!
The tiniest things make mac fan boys, or just likers and lovers of a good system, cum. I mean, I prefer mac over my shitty vista laptop, for it crashes less, has a greater creative prowess and updates far better than microsoft where you become the developer because Gatesy and his golden prostitutes can't be arsed to fix it themselves... I GET THAT... but a tiny bit of weight missing, a camera in the next one (why not put it in this one, oh right, to make more money), the possibility of using facebook full screen and a nice shade of silver on the side are not reasons to buy this product. Yes, I agree, I would get one if it was affordable and smaller (because the size drives me insane, Ill explain why later) but it is marketed as something life changing. It isn't. End of. Its a laptop without the flippy top bit. Not an e-book. Laptop, without flippy bit.
And about the size. People say its fine because its easy to carry and not a laptop. And it is because people say "its not a laptop" that its size is now fine. if it was a laptop people wouldnt like it; its simply due to its name.
The marketting of his product fails to focus on its potential (safari, mail, work on actual projects on full blown software) and instead says, "look you can read a book on it, and if you say stuff to it it logs in and and... erm... you can download a virtual goldfish!" I don't care. For work on the go I want word, software, end of. I dont want all the other pointlessnessnesses of Apple. Soon we will be unable to live in the real world without being able to log into the Glee iPad app. much as we can't live without our mobiles tweeting our every favourable quote of the day. Much as we don't like the idea of a real book when the iPad has one for us already. its pathetic. I don't mind evolution, but for the right reasons. i wouldn't even mind virtual books, just not virtual books as an add on, mocking books now as a novelty (novel-ty, hehe) and not a pleasure of literature.
Right, i said i would continue this is you did this and the iPad is what it is and is not a netbook....netbooks are for internet thats all....Nothings perfect but for the money its cheap and i cant buy another lappy....mwhahahahaha
ReplyDeleteThe ipad maybe in your words "expensive" but really comparing it to a windows PC its not. For £400 an ipad full of apps, an easier, crash free live is yours, compared to the same for a PC which could cost you an extra £100 or more to get it fixed every every months when it gives up on life all together. Windows may have been the future years ago, and I realise that certain somethings can only be done on windows (as it stands), but macs are the future and really do offer that better peace of mind and fun we all look for
ReplyDeleteAs I said to you both Samuel L Jackson and Benjamin, I don't not like mac, I just find the iPad pointless in its marketting strategy. Go back up and have another read lads, you obviously just wanted to argue :)
ReplyDeletexxx
"For £400 an ipad full of apps, an easier, crash free live is yours, compared to the same for a PC which could cost you an extra £100"
ReplyDeleteOr for £400 you could buy a perfectly decent laptop, and depart on an epic voyage of discovery in which you realise that Windows works fine for the average user. The £100 'extra' you mention for the PC being fixed is a valid point though, because the iPad will never, ever break. However should, heaven forbid, one accidentally damage the iPad (let's say, by breaking in half in an orgy of destruction) it may at least become more portable.
P.S: I take back all of the above comment: in fact, on the contrary, the Apple iPad is a magical, life changing device that I can never be worthy of owning - to even think of it's shiny surface makes me erect. It is an elixir of hope in a world overcome with woe - a shining beacon amidst an otherwise mundane world.
"I take back my previous comment" are you trying to be me? Anonymous one?
ReplyDeleteAnd if people would read my post, I don't like the martketting! Anyone read it?